The manager
Y.M.C.A Hotel
London, England

Dear Signor Diretorre,

Now I am tella you teh story how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Palermo as tourist to London and stay as a young a man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? I calla down the receptione and tella: "I wanna shit". They tella me: "Go to the toillett". I say "no, no, I wanna shit in my bed". They say : "You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch". Wat is sonnawabitch?!

I go down for ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and points of toast "I wanna piss". She tella me "Go to the toillett". I say:"No, No, I wanna piss on my plate". She then say to me. "you bloddy fella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch" Secon person who do not even know me and calls me sonnawabitch! wat is sonnawabitch?

Later I go dinner into ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fock", and she tella me "sure everybody wanna fock". I tella her "no, no, you don't understand me. I wanna fock on the table". She then tella me "So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? get your ass out of here". So I go to the receptione and ask for the bills. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more.

When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me:

"Thank you and peace on you". I say "piss on you too, you sonnawabitch" I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawabitch.